Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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