We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize