So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
