i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
