dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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