I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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