She's JV to your varsity
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
