I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
