i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
