In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
