Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Randomize
