I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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