I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you will always have a special place in my vag
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He? As in you personified your dick?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
