So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
