Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize