I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
