Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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