Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
