the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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