nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
