It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
