whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
