i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
