He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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