Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
