It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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