you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
