eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
