I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
