Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize