he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I love you. Go after that dick
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
