He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
