I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
