lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
