the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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