He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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