I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
