You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
