someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
