Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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