There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
