k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
