anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
