i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Randomize
