just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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