My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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