Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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