it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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