Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She has the best kind of daddy issues
True strength comes from lack of pants
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
