After last night, I could never be a politician.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
