Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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