Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
