I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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