he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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