textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
