Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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