Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
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