i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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