"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
