38 yer olds are good kisserssss
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
