I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
