yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
