I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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