Im at strip club and am horny
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The air was thick with penises
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
If I die, sorry about rent.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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