umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
